It has been hard to write. About anything at all. It wasn't supposed to but it is. My brain always has its little annoying way of processing my thoughts and memories in ultra-babbling mode. You know the way how you have so many things you wanna process and find answers to but you can't because it's just too much? It's like I wanted to do something about it, but I can't cause there wasn't a way I could focus or when that nasty Writer's Block thing comes up and block me out completely. I hate that feeling. I mean I've been trying to work the stupid story out for the past, I don't know, almost 3 years now? And I've got nothing, well, nothing good anyway. I kept wanting to change the plot and the names of the characters and their personalities and the kind of things they'll most likely to think and say and believe in all the freaking time. I always have something new coming up, you know in the middle of the night, and I wanted so badly to incorporate my ideas into the story but it seems impossible. I have school now and I have that part time job at the video store, time and brain cells are definitely not on my side. Plus, I'm not a trained writer in anyway and beside, I've never loved anyone or loved by anyone and god, I definitely do not have the happy family thing everyone keeps assuming I do. Otherwise, I wouldn't be writing about it....

Talking about relationships, I finally watched "Imagine Me and You", a real cool hour and a half British comedy about how you could find your soulmate the moment you set eyes on her. It's bloody rated R21 in Singapore so I couldn't actually watch it, not after next November anyway and I was absolutely mad and down with the stomping of feet and pouty lips when I knew I might never be able to watch it..I cannot tell you how many times I've watched the trailer but thank god, I did! A friend of mine brought the DVD. It's beautiful, short and sweet and pretty much true, if you let yourself believe in Le Flash, the French term for falling in love with most probably a stranger within 3 seconds of your life. It's not about pressing the forward button so you could watch 2 gorgeous women making out among flowers with thorns at the back of a florist shop, it's about how 2 beautiful unrelated-at-first people coming together and eventually discovering exactly what true love is and entails and of course the places love could bring them. Admitting to love is a brave act and admitting that you as a woman are in love with another woman is even more powerful and requires even more courage, especially in a little screwed up society like Singapore. Trust me, I've learnt that the hard way.

"I'm in love with this girl but she's with someone else." "Does she loves
you?" "No...Yes. But it doesn't matter anymore. It's over." "It's all that matter."

These couple of weeks have been hectic, in the real sense of the word. For the first time in my short half a year in TP, I actually skipped the Marketing lecture. Deliberately. You see, I took Marketing when I was in ITE and I couldn't believe that I have to redo the same stuff over again. It's that bloody B I've scored because of the stupid Marketing Project I so managed to screw up at the last minute. I was so helpless...but since I can't do nothing about it, I would continue to be the good student and go for lectures...Damn!! And I'm really having problems with that Macroeconomic Lecturer. God, I've never seen anyone that complicated before!!

Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on
Still a little bit of your ghost your witness
Still a little piece of your face i haven't kissed
You step a little closer to me
Still i can't see what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball
Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words i long to hear
You step a little closer each day
So close that i can't see what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
So come on courage!
Teach me to be shy
'Cause it's not hard to fall
And i don't want to scare her
It's not hard to fall
And i don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know