Things NEVER happen by YOUR reasons...

So I've not been updating the blog for too long, sue me.

I think I've lost the touch, maybe misplaced it. 've not been able to write nothing and I passed on that 16th March damn deadline for that writing competition I thought I was really psyched about, really. It was almost unbelievable that I did that, but I did. Nothing I could say except that I needed to write not within boxes and rules and regulations but within the endless confines of my brain and creativity and imagination. If I can't do what I do, then forget it. But if I had taken part in it and that I got that writer's touch back, characters and plot-wise would probably have been something like that:

Javier Mansilla, 28, straight, professional photographer on constant move (whatever catches his eyes/lens for that matter, he follows), Spanish heritage, reason for being in Buenos Aires – looking to widen his perspective in life, stumbled upon Sandra Moraiti at the airport and snapped her loads of her photos w/o her permission, convinced she would be the perfect girl in his next catalogue. Brown-eyed J’s incredibly gorgeous, needless to say, smug and a little too much arrogance but he really knows what he’s doing, when it comes to photography. A real glib-talker but essentially, honest and innocent, still trying to figure out what life really is...and Sandra, his guide.

Sandra Moraiti, 23, straight, language teacher originated from Chania, Greece, Greek-Czech heritage, reason for being in Buenos Aires – to live life to its fullest. Found a teaching job in one of B.A. junior colleges, ready to take on the world, curve balls included. Confronted J when she saw her photos in one of B.A. top magazines. Found herself falling in love with the gorgeous stranger. (J would be sweet talking, convincing her that she’s the perfect person to be in the catalogue etc, asked her out for lunch etc) Strong personality, highly independent, frank and honest etc…

Mia Arismenti, 21, lesbian, Argentinean, San Juan, reason for being in Buenos Aires – took her mother’s advice to pursue what she really wanted to be, an architect but ended up taking up random and shitty jobs in clubs as a waitress, hanging out with the wrong crowd and eventually dropping out of school. Chastised herself often for stuttering whenever she’s nervous, extremely bright kid but misplaced all that intelligence in the wrong areas… How she succumbs and answered w/o hestiation the lure of fame and wealth, the darker side of life, resorting to doing whatever to earn more money and gain popularity etc…sleeping with J for fame for example, even though she’s gay…Mia eventually loses herself…

Clearly, there are at least 4 main characters whose lives intersected and interwined in the most complicated ways. Everything grows and blooms and then writhes. The 4th character is Buenos Aires, the captial of Argentina, the magical and heavily European-infused city affectionately referred to as the 'Paris of South America' by people who can't seem to stop making comparison and getting enough of the city. Buenos Aires possessed the character and passion that I never knew about and could never understand until I lived it. It would not have been of any realism or truth if I were to just write it without ever experiencing it. That was Kink No. 1. Or actually Kink No. 2 if you consider the Writer's Block. I wanted to live it, to breathe it, before I could write anything about anything. I can't dishonor anything. In the process of working it out, I've right hand-written several pages, mostly conversations/quarrels between the characters and the gradual Buenos Aires'-my-security-blanket-place, how the characters come to rely on the city, or in Mia's case, how the beautiful but very dark and gray area city did her in. I thought of putting in like one paragraph of what I've written but I decided against it. It's really nothing worthy anyway.

Many things have had happened. One thing remains the same, I'm still not the daughter my mother had wanted. There was the false alarm that was a pregnancy (not me, of course. re: last entry), there was a 120 bucks mean allergy that nearly got me into a hospital the day of New Year, the sending off of a good friend to Tasmania, Australia, my year end papers which I'm certain I've flucked big time (and I did, I failed my Macroeconomic Paper) and a BBQ celebration thing at Jan's...and also the whole new perspective about my health. I have hormonal imbalance and the glucose level is way too low. That would explain the total blackout during my last paper and the whole not being able to sleep and eat or concentrate. And I've just finished a week stint of having to work 10 hours a day at Vivo City, HarbourFront. There were and still are, a lot of weird people, my workplace though the more significant one does not work there. Kabir Ahmed Jony, 29, single, country of origin: Blangladesh, wealth: flithly rich. He's the latest source of my troubles these days...and I'm still trying to deal with him now so we'll see what happens. Plus, I don't think I wanna talk about him much; I wouldn't wanna be giving him the attention he wanted...No way!

The crave for the pain has returned. Cart once told me that something bad will happen to me when I get the 3rd tattoo...she trusted her instincts. Whatever it was, it's certainly not the regret for not having done the 3rd tattoo..I'm thinking of doing peonies, one of Ami James' specialty (for those who watches Miami Ink, on Discovery Channel, Channel 16, you'd know he's pretty hot and talented). I found one of his completed works, the top one and Nunez', the bottom one. Anyway, since I've yet found the perfect artist and the cash, I needed to do something else to distract me so I went to get a henna tattoo...I know, I know, I could hear it, Ashley's dumb, come on, say it out loud! Don't be afraid. It's yet another day. Sucky working day...i'll deal..